This is embarrassing...

I never look at myself in the mirror. NEVER. But if I am going to do this...if I am really going to change things I need to face facts.

So the other night I took a picture of myself standing in front of the mirror. I took that picture and I really looked at it and as usual I was disgusted by what I saw.

But I am telling myself this is my "Before" picture. I will take a picture every month to see how much I have changed.

I am so used to hiding. So used to not facing myself and ignoring facts. That is one of the most difficult things about this. Facing reality. Facing just how messed up I've become.