Saturday, February 20, 2010


When I created this blog, for some silly reason, I thought I should have it connected to it's own email address. I'm realizing now what a mistake that was because in order to update here I am constantly signing in and out of Google, switching between this address and my regular one.

So to make things easier for me from now on I put this blog under my regular email address.

For the few people who might be reading, if you'd like to continue to do so, please go to my blog's new address. You can find it here.

Thank you and I hope to see you there!


Thursday, February 18, 2010

25 pounds down!

So this is how I look after losing 25 pounds. It might not look like much initially but I can already feel the differences and I've gone down almost two pants sizes.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Big Changes...

“I want to feel something real. I want to be intoxicated by someone’s very presence. I want the butterflies and mixed feelings. I want confusion. I want the mood swings. I just want to feel.” Unknown

I've been neglecting this blog temporarily because I've been so overwhelmed. I still feel a little overwhelmed but I am dealing with it a lot better now I think.

A lot of things have changed. For the better, thank goodness. First is that I've lost another 10 pounds since my last post!! That's 25 pounds total!! It's already being to show too. People have been commenting that it's obvious I'm losing weight. And I've dropped two pants sizes! Shirts that used to be tight on me fit better too.

The other biggest thing that has changed is that I have completely cleaned my whole apartment. It used to be a wreck. It was totally chaotic, a constant weight on my shoulders, and a source of major guilt.

Not only did I clean it, I rearranged my bedroom, cleaned out my closets (and found tons of stuff that I either threw out or donated), organized my desk, and cleaned my couch. The whole place looks amazing!!

It is already making a huge difference in how I feel. The state of my apartment has always affected my state of mind, but I also did it it because I was tired of being embarrassed to invite people into my place. I want to make friends, I want a boyfriend, and I don't want to be ashamed to let them into my home. It didn't even look like a real home before. It does now.

Another great change is that I got a few new clothes. Before, I never felt like I was worth spending the money on, because I am so overweight. I used to feel like there was no point in trying to look nice. There was no point in wearing decent clothes, make-up, doing my hair, because all people would see is my weight. And my weight made me unattractive no matter what I wore. That was my mindset and it was horrible.
So I got some new clothes and even some make-up. I'm making sure that I actually get dressed everyday, even if it's just for a little while.

I'm taking responsibility for my life. I realized that it is up to me to help myself. What's that quote? "God only helps those who help themselves." It's time to help myself. Cause no one else will.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

I'm worth it...

“We do not believe in ourselves until someone reveals that deep inside us something is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our trust, sacred to our touch. Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight or any experience that reveals the human spirit.”
e.e. cummings

Monday, February 8, 2010

More thinspiration!

Better than yesterday

For the past few weeks now I have slacked off on walking but I continued to lose weight. As off this morning I've lost 15 pounds total!!

It feels wonderful! I am really proud of myself. But it is time to step it up. Stop procrastinating and finding excuses. The past week has sucked for me emotionally and physically and I am sick of it.

I want to feel good about myself again. I want to be proud of myself again. And that starts today.

I joined a gym. It's just down the street so I can walk there and it is clean and modern and only $30 a month with no membership fees or contracts and I can pay month to month. It also offers yoga, tai-bo, and kick boxing classes for only $5 more.

Today will be my first day going there and I am really looking forward to it.

My new motto is "I'm worth it!" so I also broke down and bought a few new clothes. Nothing special...Wal-mart and Fashion Bug...a few nicer t-shirts. But that is still so much more than I've allowed myself to get in a long time. I just wasn't worth spending the money on before.

But I am sick of walking around in rags because that is all I felt I was worth. I do deserve to feel nice and look nice, even overweight. And that is something I never believed before.

"The Biggest Loser" tv show has been a great inspiration to me over the last month or so. I have totally fallen in love with Jillian and Bob. I would give anything for either one of them to be my trainers. So I was really happy to find "The Biggest Loser Workout" with Jillian on DVD the other day! It was only 10 bucks so I grabbed it.

Today will be a good day. I'm sure of it. I will make sure of it!